I used to sleep on the floor but now I'm up all night. I thought I had it all but I can't see the light. The boxes in the attic. My dad's old bike. They're now some past life. It turns out I'm not a man. I'm not even a boy. I'm a little less than human for all that I've done. I can't seem to fix it or even explore without my past haunting me. I can't find love or do nothing right. Adulthood is scary. I don't know why I try. I never signed up for this. I can't even get my priorities right. I don't know where my life is heading. I just float aimlessly down this river of guilt and more. I think I'll have one for that and another round on me for tonight.
I'm no stranger to loss. I'm no fool for you. My karma's catching up to me and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to do good but something keep's haunting me. The past keeps on reoccurring too.
How did I end up on your doorstep with flowers in my hand just to say I miss so you can slam the door. Oh, I think you're over me now. Whatever makes you happy, darling. I think I'll go home and have a Stella Artois and a cigarette to drown out all of my flaws. It's temporary but anything to heal the daunting life. I'm still trying to reach enlightenment. "Sadhana" is my wrist. Oh, my mantra please help. I'll do anything. Raaja, Bhakti, Karma and Jnana are the only things I need.
When I wake up my future's right in my face but I'm too blind and beaten to see the truth. When I travel I think I'm getting away from all of my problems but that's not quite true.
released July 23, 2014
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